Resolutions for a New Year
December musings on time, burnout, rest, and winter
Hello, dear reader!
It’s been a while! I can’t believe the year is quickly coming to a close. I’ve always been a nostalgic person who gets way deep in my feelings about the passage of time. Are all artists like this? I wonder if this could be especially true for those who create work for kids. My birthday is in October, and even though this last chunk of the year is my favorite I always get a little blue. But good blue! The passage of time is obvious in the fall and winter. The signs are all around us. See: leaves falling, days shortening, literal death and decay in the gardens and grass. There is beauty in this too, though, and it invites reflection on the year past. I thought I would share a bit of mine.
A few years ago, illustrator/writer/iconic New Yorker Julia Rothman started sharing her yearly “more/less” lists, which I have since adopted. For those unfamiliar, the lists are in the vein of a resolution but not quite the same. Rather than firm, hard goals, you create lists of things you want more of and things you want less of.
I love these: where resolutions feel like self-punishing U-turns, more/less lists feel like gentle shifts. Like pruning: trimming back slowly what we don’t need to allow new growth in.
My more/less list sat on my studio wall through the year and was packed with all sorts of things. Some of them were small:
Others were a little more nuanced:
In retrospect, most of these were connected in some form to healing from burnout. A lot has happened in the last few years of my life! Coming out of college (especially as a low-income student) I put immense pressure on myself to have my shit together and land firmly on my feet. After months of being unemployed post-grad (in retrospect this was brief but at the time it felt incredibly long), I got my book offer and my first job offer in the same week. This was a tremendous gift that I thank my lucky stars for every day! I still don’t know how it happened. The flip side of this, though, was essentially going a thousand miles an hour. I feel like I’ve been on a roller coast, or maybe a tilt-a-whirl: fast fast fast, go go go, keep your head above water, work work work!
Last summer, I was tapped to start teaching a course at my alma mater, and even me (the person who never says no!) knew that I couldn’t create books and work full-time and teach my first college class. Leaving the safety of a full-time job was scary. It’s still scary! I worked as a book designer at Macmillan, where I got to design covers. The dream! I loved my job and my team and the cool books I got to work on. But it wasn’t a matter of loving the job, it was a matter of time. And so… here we are!
2023 was a year of softening. Connecting to friends. Connecting with my boyfriend, who was probably the only person who fully saw just how fried I was. Connecting with hobbies, like reading (for fun!), ceramics (for fun!), playing video games (for fun!). A lot of resting, wandering, sleeping… and not just as a means to an end for productivity! That last part is important.
When I was working full-time, it felt like there was fog in my brain, like I couldn’t fully access all of my creativity or deep thinking because I was just too fried. Can you relate to this? I share this all to say: if you are working a full-time or part-time job(s) and feel exhausted and uncreative when you turn to your personal work, it’s because you already worked a full work day ! We aren’t meant to create like that. You aren’t a machine, and even a machine would break if it fired on all cylinders all the time.
I’ll be making a new More/Less list over the holidays, and maybe you will too! I won’t share what’s on my future list (I feel that should be private) but I do know that one of my “mores” will be more newsletters! When I created this Substack, I was intending to use it solely for book updates. But these newsletters are pleasant to write and even more pleasant to find in my inbox from creators I know and admire! It feels like a fun space to kick off personal projects, share longer form works, personal musings, and generally more thoughts than an Instagram caption allows or encourages. Oh, and of course, there will be book updates too! I’m hoping to share a big one soon. More in the new year— I hope you’ll come along!
In the meantime, have a wonderful holiday! There’s a lot happening in the world right now. I hope you can spend time with the ones you love, and if you can’t, I hope you can find ways to take care of yourself.
XO
Veronica
Hey Veronica! I love your newsletter. Keep on keeping on!
I also do more/less thanks to Julia! Still working on mine for next year! I will have to find where I put this years. It was in my sketchbook so it got filed away at some point. This year I’m definitely going to put it on a sheet and hang it on the wall to remind myself what I want more/less of!